Pepper the Pious?




It’s wrong

I shouldn’t gloat.



So there I am pottering away, minding my own business (which is of course, to mind everyone else’s business) and I decide it’s time for a mid-morning snack so I pop my head back into the cell for a bit of Dr John’s medicine.

No sign of the other two and then I hear the Hooooman coming down the stairs muttering something like ‘…know there’s trouble when it goes quiet…’

She’s come into the kitchen and starts going nuts over sommat. Can’t see what the problem is. Yeah, there are empty jams jars and carrier bags all over the floor and yeah, the other two morons are behind the kitchen kicker-boards having squeezed through the tiny gap the hooman had attempted to block up, but other than that nothing was wrong. She’s a bit highly strung this hoooman.

So next thing is the sun is blocked out by her backside as she sticks her head in the cupboard and starts shouting sommat like ‘You two are sooo on my Hit List!’, although, thinking on it, that word may have begun with an ‘S’. Anyhow next thing, Chili appears held by his scruff and looking suitably chastised (stupid idiot can’t even enjoy making trouble but has to do his best ‘I’m soooooweee’ face. Pah. Traitor to the cause, I say).

Anyhow thanks to HIM I get shut in the cage alongside him, while the hooman gets a screwdriver out. I thought it was maybe to tighten a screw in The Flouncy One’s head, but no, she starts taking the kicker boards off and dragging out the Fluffball, none too ceremoniously either (I did chortle!!!) and then starts giving him a lecture about “…not just letting himself down but letting his friends down, his family down…” etc etc <yawn>

When I woke up again she was STILL going on and on this time about responsibility and that she had been relying on him (!!!) to lead by example and how disappointed she was <yawn>. And then get this! GET THIS!!!!

The blinkin’ slimey (yet still furry) toadball goes and gives her those… those… EYES and she gives him a cuddle, mutters something about being too darn gorgeous, gives his belly a snog and then puts him in the cage with us!?!






He saunters upstairs in the cage to bed with a wink and smirk at me and I’m left thinking ‘HANG ON! Wasn’t that meant to be a telling off??!! Aren’t I meant to be the one smirking and winking???’

GAH!!! Auntie Gillian, I’m ready to come home now, but can we just leave these other two idiots with that idiot hoooman please? They all seem so well matched…

Lots of love, 


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